That's Just Bad Part 4: The Holy Grail of Bad aka late WCW

How could I do a serious about bad shows without looking at the king of bad shows that being WCW in its last 2 years of running? And boy did I pick a good one (if I do say so myself), Bash at the Beach 1999 taking place on July 11^th in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Now before I start I have to say that I’m doing this review from youtube as my TV and video player are refusing to work together so I might miss some stuff, only the matches are on there but we might get lucky and more will be included. We have Bobby & Tony on commentary (we both know who I don’t need to full name them)

Disco Inferno vs. Ernest Miller w/Sonny Onoo: Disco has to be one of the most unlikeable wrestlers ever and it’s so hard to get behind him as a heel or face. This feud was about dancing, just like every feud these 2 had with everyone. Miller getting good heat here, I sense some Tracy Smothers here during his pre-match promo. Pre-match dance off, Miller was better but that’s my view. Miller tries to jump start but Disco gets the better of him, he also stamps on his hat. Miller talking again on the outside comes in and threatens kicks but Disco takes him down. Disco hits both atomic drops and then runs off the ropes but then whips Miller off, bit of a mess up. Miller gets a kick and begins to choke Disco to start the heat. Onoo on the outside hits some amazing kicks. Miller hits a low blow when they get back in and the ref does nothing, guess that was ECW’s influence on them. Lots of kicks in this match as well as taunting. Disco starts fighting back to little reaction, hits the Austin second rope elbow he stole a lot of Austin. Disco goes for the Stunner sorry the Chartbuster but is hit with a kick, if Miller uses a wrestling move I’d go nuts. Disco hits Miller with a red shoe, I hated that gimmick, for a 2. Miller then puts a shoe on and kicks Disco for the win. If you like kicks this was your match. Nothing great here and Miller copies James Brown with the cape routine.

Rick Steiner (c) vs. Van Hammer for WCW TV title: Hammer here was doing the anti-hippy gimmick to recover from his hippy gimmick. Weird booking before we even start with 2 heels against each other. Rick’s solo run always seemed a bit random to me, very forgettable. A very bad pre-match promo from Rick where he says nothing. Lock up to start and Rick gets some cheap shots when they get to the corner. Hammer comes back with strikes which look awful. These 2 seem very awkward in the ring, Rick no sells a suplex and just hits Hammer to get the advantage. Rick DDT’s Hammer on the concrete floor and goes for a cover on the floor for what reason I don’t know. Hammer gets a low blow and Tony mentions “We’re 2 for 2 tonight”. Rick keeps no selling Hammer. Hammer hits Rick with a chair, still no DQ, and then a top rope clothesline for a 2. Rick hits 2 low blows in a row and the jumping bulldog for the win. Just an awkward bad match here with no one caring. Both these men didn’t deserve to be here in my view.

David Flair (c) w/Ric, Arn & Torrie vs. Dean Malenko for WCW US title: David was just given the title and looked completely stupid here, bad ring gear and in no kind of shape. David is even out with one of Ric’s robes and music, he was doomed from the start. Dean just takes the advantage from the beginning, out classing him with wrestling. David’s gimmick is that he sucks and can’t do anything, I wish that was a joke. Dean quickly gets the Texas Cloverleaf on, Arn spinbusters the ref and Dean knocks him down. Ric hits Dean with the belt from behind and David retains. So bad I don’t know how they thought this would work in the long run.

West Texas Rednecks (Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham & Bobby Duncum) vs. No Limit Soldiers (Rey Mysterio, Konnan, Brad Armstrong & Swoll)-Elimination match: This is rap vs. country because a match decides that. This was a crappy feud from the beginning, such a waste of talent all round and why was Brad in the Soldiers? It came off so random. No mask for Rey here, boy does he have a babyface. Konnan says something, I must not speak gangster or Spanish. Barry is working in a shirt and shorts, he must have been concerned with his shape at the time. Rey & Barry to start. The WTR have the workers cowboy boots which I love. Barry gets some strikes in but Rey starts using speed and even hits a split legged moonsault. Curt tags in and he isn’t messing, Brad comes in and is really good with his offence but looked awkward taunting. Swoll comes in with Bobby and is just bad, this guy didn’t last long. Kendall hits a low blow when tagged in, that’s our 5^th tonight. It’s very back and forth, no real advantage yet. Konnan & Rey begin to do double teams, they come off as a good team here. Bobby is eliminated when Rey hits a springboard leg drop and Swoll struggles to get the pin, seriously bad and I hear he got a stupid amount of pay. Somehow Barry gets offence on Konnan but that doesn’t last long. Brad steals his brothers punching style unless all the Armstrongs did that and I missed it. They mess up a spot and Hennig gets the Perfectplex to eliminate Brad even though Rey broke up the pin. Konnan comes in and gets beaten up, heels finally looking dominate a bit. Konnan comes back with his rolling clothesline which I never liked and then his poor X-factor for a 2. Rey dropkicks Kendall into a crappy small package by Konnan to eliminate him. Barry no sells a jaw breaker from Konnan, seemed odd. Another rolling clothesline by Konnan, both fall to the outside and are counted out leaving it 2 on 1 in favour of the faces. Swoll getting the better of Curt, something which is sad to see. Swoll hits some bad palm strikes and Rey does a splash off of Swoll’s shoulders for the win. Just a massive mess here, even real workers couldn’t help here. Plus the Soldiers were out with 2 other guys who constantly attacked the rednecks, the faces were more heel than the heels in this match.

Junkyard Invitational: There are 15 men in this match so not going to list them off but the idea is these guys having a battle royal in a junkyard, first to climb out wins. Tons of cars, weapons and wide shots including an aerial shot. A car gets pushed off for no reason by the Public Enemy, which gets a big reaction from Tony. Jerry Flynn causes sparks on a car, Silver King jumps on Brain Knobbs on top of a van. They actually wasted Regal & Finlay on this match. This is extremely hard to keep track off, just random people getting hit by random weapons. Jimmy Hart is the highlight here just telling people to get each other while in an overly protected outfit. Horace Hogan is there and man does he sound like Hulk. Rocco Rock & Horace are the first to head to the exit but neither gets out. Hak throws Finaly into a truck of a car, Finaly jumps out before the car goes into the crusher (WHY!) and Finlay just walks to the gate and gets out for the win. A waste of time, money and effort here just endless random weapon shots and guys killing each other with us not being able to see it. So glad this was a one off.

Jersey Triad (Diamond Dallas Page, Chris Kanyon & Bam Bam Bigelow) (c) vs. Chris Benoit & Perry Saturn for WCW Tag titles: The Triad took the Freebird rule to the extreme as all 3 men could wrestle the match, one would be in the ring another on the apron and the other on the floor the two on the outside could switch places during the match. I loved this trio so much. This is sad as out of the 5 only 2 are alive and for a while some thought Saturn was dead as well. Saturn and DDP start by trading shots which DDP gets the best off when they go to the corner but Saturn comes back and knocks down all 3. Bigelow and Benoit in, Benoit hits a clothesline which I always loved as it looked so impactful. Saturn keeps trying a T-Bone on Kanyon who keeps blocking them, a rear waistlock by Saturn and I thought we’d get another low blow but no, Saturn finally gets the T-Bone after Benoit gets a chop. Benoit hits a snap suplex which looked so fast and then puts on the Liontamer which looked extremely sick here. Kanyon is taking so much from these guys just bumping his ass off. Benoit begins working on his leg and we get the double team wishbone spot, always looks painful. Saturn hits a top rope leg drop but DDP comes in and Saturn is pulled out, he follows Kanyon and blogs Bigelows surprise clothesline but DDP gets him off the apron in a nice spot. Bigelow gets the tag and a hanging suplex to begin the heat for the heels. Fans seem to be distracted here by something and are just cheering and booing something. Saturn catches Kanyon on the top and does a Super Belly to belly to get the tag. Benoit fights off 2 guys but DDP catches him with a top rope clothesline to cut him off, he then falls off the rope while taunting and goes nuts to the crowd. Kanyon catches Benoit, who was attempting a float over, with a sit out Alabama Slam. Bigelow uses a lot of headbutts but at least he did wrestling moves as well unlike Ernest Miller earlier. We get the facelock tag spot to little reaction, DDP then hits a sit out powerbomb for 2. Bigelow goes for his crooked moonsault but misses leading to Benoit tagging. Benoit & Saturn hit a top rope splash & headbutt combo but DDP comes off the top to break the pin. Fans are really getting into things now. Ref goes down by DDP’s feet and Kanyon throws powder into DDP by accident, who then diamond cutters Kanyon for a 2. A superkick/German combo on DDP for a 2. Ref goes down again and DDP brings in a trash can, he hits Benoit & Kanyon but him and Bigelow get a double team Diamond Cutter for the win. This got lots of time and was fantastic, the best match on the show and you can’t be surprised when you see who was in it.

Buff Bagwell vs. Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair-Boxing Match: Mills Lane aka “Let’s Get it On” is the guest ref here. This was one of Buff’s biggest pushes he ever got, very much a guy who had the look and not the skills. Buff brings out his Mum as his corner person, aww that’s so sweet excuse me while I gag a little. Lots of punching I mean a lot, not much to call here. Piper gets the first knock down, the only real highlight of round 1. Ric sprays Pipers gloves with something which causes Buff to be affected throughout the 2^nd round. Piper jumps to start the 3^rd round, Judy bites Piper and puts a bucket on his head leading to Buff hitting the Blockbuster for the 3 count win. Totally random and stupid, a waste of time but luckily it wasn’t too much time.

Kevin Nash (c) & Sting vs. Randy Savage & Sid Vicious for WCW World Title: How can a singles title be defended in a tag? Vince Russo that’s how! The story for this was beyond stupid the infamous hummer, fake Sting and Gorgeous George being kidnapped by Nash. They say Sting could win the title but they don’t explain how since he’s Nash’s tag partner. This was Savage’s short time repackage which I really liked. George, Madness & Madusa are with Sid & Savage, I didn’t know Madness was Molly Holly at first. Savage starts with sunglasses on and George moves over to Nash they don’t explain why really. I’d like to note that this match is split into 2 videos on youtube with the first having nothing happening until the last minute when Sting attacks Savage. Sid has always had the widest punches I’ve ever seen, Savage shows how to throw a real punch when he’s tagged in. We seemed to jump straight into the heat for this match. Nash’s first move is breaking up a camel clutch, a work horse that Nash. Sting hits a dropkick and just casually walks over and makes the tag to Nash. We get vintage Nash during his comeback and then he tags out pretty quickly. Sting misses a Stinger Splash on the rail and Sid then dumps him on the rail, then both girls push Sting into the post. Sting does his accidental low blow spot, it completely misses Sid but I don’t think he was complaining. Nash comes back in and hits a 2^nd sideslam to Sid, seriously he has so few moves. Sting hits Stinger splashes on everyone and then accidently hits Nash when going for Savage, he then gets hit by a chokeslam. George comes in hits a low blow, which Nash didn’t feel, then another. Sid slams Nash and Savage hits his elbow for the win. A very boring match in my view and I’d like to note that Savage would lose the title 24 hours later to Hulk Hogan, this was the 2^nd time that would happen to Savage.

Overall: What a mess this show was but that sums up WCW in 99. The only good match was the tag title match, a lot were either hard to watch or extremely overbooked but my guess is that that was due to Russo’s booking, who was famous for overbooking. Also I didn’t mention the crowd much as they really didn’t come into effect, they weren’t quiet at all but they just weren’t reacting much to anything.

Well that’s my review of Bash at the Beach 99. Keep an eye out for my final one in this series, another Bash this time the Great American Bash 2004!